NewsRadio:"Tasteless Joke" Part 3


  INT.BULLPEN-DAY

   Mr.James goes over tot talk to to Bill who's laughing and pointing
at the weeping guru.Catherine has gone to comfort him.

    Catherine:Honey,it's alright.Nobody thinks you're some kind of
guru,cult leader or whatever.

     Bill:I do.

     Catherine:You're an idiot!

     Bill:Takes one to know one,eh Cathy?

      Catherine:Call me Cathy one more time and you'll be wearing your
underwear over your head.

     Bill:Alright!ALRIGHT!No wedgies please,they're hell on my back.


     Mr.James:Bill,what the hell are you doing?I brought this
guru-sorry,SELF HELP SEPCIALIST,to help you cope with your grief?Aren't you the
least bit SAD that Matthew's passed on?

    Bill:Of course I am...SYKE!Knowing that little scamp this all just
some joke concocted to get Dave to admit he likes him.

    Mr.James:NAHH....really?

    Bill:Oh but of course!Infact he's standing right over there!
  
   Bill points in Matthew's direction.He's hiding behind a plant.

    Mr.James:MATTHEW!!

     INT.MEN'S ROOM-DAY

     Mr.James drags Matthew into the men's room.

     Matthew:I'm sorry okay?
 
     Mr.James:Sorry ain't gonna cut it,son!Do you know what you put us
all through?

     Matthew:What are you talking about?I've been on stake out all day
and none of those guys have so much as shed a TEAR!

    Mr.Jimmy:Really?Damn!Should've told me,and saved me the money it
cost to hire that yo-yo guru out there.Pansy.

    Beth enters.

   Beth:Matthew,that was beyond merely low.You-I just can't believe
you'd fake your death just to get Dave to say he liked you.I'm sure we'd
all cry eventually.The guru is.

    Matthew:Yeah,well the GURU just happens to be an old college buddy
of mine,so I'd appreciate it if you didn't all label him some kind
pansy.

   The guru walks in.He walks over to one of the stalls,moving 
feminately,his hips swaying from side to side.

   Matthew:Okay,so maybe I was wrong.

CUT TO COMMERCIALS:

   INT.DAVE'S OFFICE-DAY

   Dave is at his esk editing a report when Lisa walks in.


   Dave:Hey Lisa!

   Lisa:You know I've been thinking...you know with Matthew's death and
all.....

   Dave:Uh-huh....?

    Lisa:It made me think of how precious life really is!I mean when
you think  about it,our time here on earth is really short.We should try
to make the best of it.

   Dave:Uh-huh-have you been talking to Tommy?


   Lisa:DAVE!I'm serious!   

   Dave:Okay,so what're you preposing we do?

    Lisa:I'm preposing that...you and me....

   Dave:Yes?

   Lisa:Get married.

   Dave:What?

   Lisa gets down on one knee.

   Dave:Oh my God!When did you have time to buy a ring?

  Lisa:I sneaked out when you were in the bathroom peeing.

   Dave:You don't do that all time do you?

   Lisa:Dave.I've always been sneaking out.This job just plain sucks,I
have to relive my boredom somehow.

   Dave:What do you usually do when you sneak out?

   Lisa:You don't wanna know,Dave.

   Dave:Look,if we're gonna get married as you APPERANTLY so desire,I
don't want any secrets coming between us.

   Lisa:I put on fishnet stalkings and walk around in a replica of the
outfit Tina Turner wore in Mad Max 3.I walk around under the codename
Superfreak,and lure pimps into secluded areas where the NYPD are waiting
to make an arrest.

  Dave:so you're a psuedo-slut?
Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Conclusion