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NewsRadio:"Tasteless Joke" FADE IN: INT.BULLPEN-DAY We see Dave and Lisa talking over by the booth. Lisa:Did you hear? Dave:About what? Lisa:Matthew....(trails off) Dave:Confessed he was gay?Was caught flashing an old woman on the street and taken to the insane asylum?Became convinced he was a cat trapped in a man's body,and now his breath smells like catfood all the time,and the smell makes you want to puke? Lisa:..was murdered...last night. Dave:What?No!No...Matthew? Lisa:Yes! Dave:Matthew,the crazy little guy with th- Lisa:Yes! Pause. Dave:Oh come on.This is just a really sick April Fool's Day prank isn't it? Lisa:I wish it was.Frankly,I don't think you're ever gonna find someone as demented as he was to fill the void. Dave:Wow.Matthew's dead.Did they catch the killer? Lisa:No,Dave,I don't think they did.Sad really.He owed me ten bucks. Dave:Alright,that's enough.I think we should show a little respect.The man is...Christ.I can't even finish. ENTER Mister James: Mr.James:Hi,kids.How goes it? Dave:Oh hey Mister James.Matthew was murdered! Mr.James:WHAT? Dave:I didn't mean to sound so cheerful,Sir.Obviously,I'm as upset about this as the next guy...I-uh was just trying to put my best face forward. Mr.James:Really?I have no idea what the hell you're talking about,but I respect you for it. Dave:Wait,Matthew isn't dead? Mr.James:No,I mean no more "wisconsonsims".Get over it,Son.You're not in the country anymore. Mr.James walks away. Lisa;"Wisconsonisms"? Dave:I have no idea what he's talking about either,as usual. Bill:Morning,Cheif!Morning,Lisa. Lisa:Morning,Bill.My God,did you hear? Bill:Indeed I did.Damn shame.The Red Sox really are starting to suck.I certainly hope they improve,but there's only what?2 games left in the entire season. Dave:What? Bill:I thought we were talking about sports? Dave:No.Actually we're TALKING about Matthew.He was m-mu-mu-murdered late last night. Bill frowns: Bill:The crazy lil' fella with th- Dave:Yes. Bill:My God!That is so ironic. Lisa:What do you mean,Bill? Bill:As a journalist,it was his job to report the news.And now...he IS the news. Lisa and Dave walk away disgusted. CUT TO:Credit!Theme song plays INT. |
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