NewsRadio:"Tasteless Joke"


     FADE IN:
       INT.BULLPEN-DAY

       We see Dave and Lisa talking over by the booth.


        Lisa:Did you hear?

        Dave:About what?

        Lisa:Matthew....(trails off)


         Dave:Confessed he was gay?Was caught flashing an old woman on the street and taken to the insane asylum?Became convinced he was a cat trapped in a man's body,and now his breath smells like catfood all the time,and the smell makes you want to puke?

        Lisa:..was murdered...last night.

        Dave:What?No!No...Matthew?

         Lisa:Yes!

        Dave:Matthew,the crazy little guy with th-

         Lisa:Yes!

        Pause.

        Dave:Oh come on.This is just a really sick April Fool's Day prank isn't it?

        Lisa:I wish it was.Frankly,I don't think you're ever gonna find someone as demented as he was to fill the void.

        Dave:Wow.Matthew's dead.Did they catch the killer?

        Lisa:No,Dave,I don't think they did.Sad really.He owed me ten bucks.

        Dave:Alright,that's enough.I think we should show a little respect.The man is...Christ.I can't even finish.

        ENTER Mister James:

        Mr.James:Hi,kids.How goes it?

         Dave:Oh hey Mister James.Matthew was murdered!

       Mr.James:WHAT?

         Dave:I didn't mean to sound so cheerful,Sir.Obviously,I'm as upset about this as the next guy...I-uh was just trying to put my best face forward.

        Mr.James:Really?I have no idea what the hell you're talking about,but I respect you for it.

        Dave:Wait,Matthew isn't dead?

         Mr.James:No,I mean no more "wisconsonsims".Get over it,Son.You're not in the country anymore.

        Mr.James walks away.

       Lisa;"Wisconsonisms"?

       Dave:I have no idea what he's talking about  either,as usual.

       Bill:Morning,Cheif!Morning,Lisa.

       Lisa:Morning,Bill.My God,did you hear?

       Bill:Indeed I did.Damn shame.The Red Sox really are starting to suck.I certainly hope they improve,but there's only what?2 games left in the entire season.

       Dave:What?

       Bill:I thought we were talking about sports?

        Dave:No.Actually we're TALKING about Matthew.He was m-mu-mu-murdered late last night.

        Bill frowns:
      
       Bill:The crazy lil' fella with th-

       Dave:Yes.

       Bill:My God!That is so ironic.

       Lisa:What do you mean,Bill?

       Bill:As a journalist,it was his job to report the news.And now...he IS the news.

        Lisa and Dave walk away disgusted.
   
     CUT TO:Credit!Theme song plays

  INT.
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