We see Dave and Lisa talking over by the booth.
Lisa:Did you hear?
Dave:Confessed he was gay?Was caught flashing an old woman on the street and taken to the insane asylum?Became convinced he was a cat trapped in a man's body,and now his breath smells like catfood all the time,and the smell makes you want to puke?
Lisa:..was murdered...last night.
Dave:Matthew,the crazy little guy with th-
Dave:Oh come on.This is just a really sick April Fool's Day prank isn't it?
Lisa:I wish it was.Frankly,I don't think you're ever gonna find someone as demented as he was to fill the void.
Dave:Wow.Matthew's dead.Did they catch the killer?
Lisa:No,Dave,I don't think they did.Sad really.He owed me ten bucks.
Dave:Alright,that's enough.I think we should show a little respect.The man is...Christ.I can't even finish.
ENTER Mister James:
Mr.James:Hi,kids.How goes it?
Dave:Oh hey Mister James.Matthew was murdered!
Dave:I didn't mean to sound so cheerful,Sir.Obviously,I'm as upset about this as the next guy...I-uh was just trying to put my best face forward.
Mr.James:Really?I have no idea what the hell you're talking about,but I respect you for it.
Dave:Wait,Matthew isn't dead?
Mr.James:No,I mean no more "wisconsonsims".Get over it,Son.You're not in the country anymore.
Mr.James walks away.
Dave:I have no idea what he's talking about either,as usual.
Lisa:Morning,Bill.My God,did you hear?
Bill:Indeed I did.Damn shame.The Red Sox really are starting to suck.I certainly hope they improve,but there's only what?2 games left in the entire season.
Bill:I thought we were talking about sports?
Dave:No.Actually we're TALKING about Matthew.He was m-mu-mu-murdered late last night.
Bill:The crazy lil' fella with th-
Bill:My God!That is so ironic.
Lisa:What do you mean,Bill?
Bill:As a journalist,it was his job to report the news.And now...he IS the news.
Lisa and Dave walk away disgusted.
CUT TO:Credit!Theme song plays
|Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Conclusion|