Inquiry: Guest Star:Bridget Fonda as Mary. Disclaimer: Mary is my character, but no other characters belong to me.

(Opening scene:Smoking Room.Mary is seated in one chair, smoking and reading readers digest.Bill enters, sits next to her)

Bill: Hi.

Mary: (not looking up) Hi.

Bill:So...How do you like it here?

Mary: You mean with all the pollution, smog, and jerks who threaten to shove a newspaper up my wazoo if I don't get out of the seat on the subway?

Bill:(hesitates) Yes.

Mary: Just dandy then.

Bill: Well, maybe I can offer you a chance to enjoy it here.Why don't we..

Mary: No.

Bill: Well, how about a dinner at..

Mary: No.

Bill: (growls) Then what do you want?

Mary: This!(gets up, slaps Bill)Thats for my brother you ass!(storms out)

Bill: (rubs cheek) Ow.(smiles) She likes me.

(theme)

(scene: Daves office.) Beth: (comes in) Dave, your coffee's....(looks around the empty office)here.

Dave:(pokes head out under desk)Beth, over here!

Beth:(walks over) Whats with you?

Dave: Get under the desk, or she'll hear us.

Beth:Who?

Dave: (grabs her, pulls her under desk)

Dave: Lisa is having her,you know, thing...

Beth:Her what?

Dave: Her, leaky faucet?

Beth:Her faucets broken?Get Joe to do it.

Dave: Oh for petes sake, she's having her period!

Beth:Well, you didn't have to be such a wuss about it.Why are you so scared?

Dave: Lets sum it up: she's horny, fussy, angry, depressed and ate all the pickles, olives and ice cream in the fridge.

Beth: Gezz, thats bad.

Dave: Yes, it is.I'm in fear Beth.Hold me.

(curls up in fetile posiion, Beth, gets out)

Beth: (walks out)He's in there Lisa.

Lisa:(runs in) Dave,you son of a bitch, why are you hiding from me?You think I'm ugly, don't you?Are you cheating on me?!You think I'm stupid don't you?

(Dave's pitiful wail is muffled as Beth closes the door.)

(Bill is sitting at desk, watching Mary get her coffee)

Bill:(thinking) Heh heh...I'm watching that butt of hers, and she doesn't know it.I am the master at this.She will be wooed eventully by me. Am I not Bill McNeal, famous for what's printed on my card?

Mary: (turns, stares at Bill. She's thinking too.)

Mary: He's not that bad.. nice ass, pretty eyes, broad shouldered..but he is mean to Mattie... and he is evil. But what does that make me? Oh. well, he'll be succumbed to me soon.

(Mary and Bill stare at each other, scowling) Mary: Ass.

Bill: Bitch.

Matthew:(thinking) Thank god, they hate each other. But I still have to protect Mary, but how can I fight someone I envy? I have to be strong. Be strong Matthew, and do not fall to the evil elf ways.


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