This is totally irrelevant, but I just introduced my best friend to the world of "NewsRadio," and she thinks that the character of Dave Nelson is a total nympho. Just felt like sharing.
Lisa was ecstatic. This was the happiest she'd been in months. She clung to Dave's arm excitedly while they waited for the elevator to bring them to the station.
"You're more excited than I am," Dave remarked, grinning.
She smiled back. "I'm just glad that you're not going to be so far away."
"Are you *sure* that you want me to move in with you?" Dave asked.
"What would you rather do? I mean, I don't want to sound selfish, but it's really painful to be away from you and I *really* don't feel like moving again."
Dave was about to respond, but the elevator doors opened. "We'll talk about this later," he said.
No sooner had they walked into the station's office when Joe walked over to them and said, "I was just about to going lookin' for ya, Dude. Jimmy wants t'see you."
"Great," Dave sighed. "Where is he?"
"Follow me... hey, are you two having *fun*?"
"Joe!" Lisa and Dave reprimanded in unison.
Chuckling, Joe said, "Hey, sorry. Just trying to make small talk." He led Dave and Lisa to the station's break room, where Jimmy was seated at the table. Beth, Matthew and Max were also sitting at the table. There were two empty seats, one of which Joe immediately occupied. Dave sat down in the other.
"Sorry, Lisa, we didn't know you where planning on coming to our little meeting," Beth apologized.
"It's all right, I can stand." Lisa said.
"Or... you could just sit on Dave's lap," Max offered, grinning wickedly.
Lisa looked horrified. "Dave...!" she started.
"I didn't say anything," he said.
Joe piped up, "We found out via hidden camera, thanks to me."
"You guys must be *really* hard-pressed for entertainment," Lisa said.
"No, that's what the little black box on my TV is for... that camera is meant solely for business purposes," Joe defended.
Jimmy cleared his throat. "If you're all finished with your banter, I'd like to get to the point of this gathering."
Everyone fell silent and looked at Jimmy.
"Thank-you," he said. "Now, I know I don't really run the station anymore, but I *do* own it. That means I can still make a lot of the big decisions around here. It has come to my attention that a few of us want Dave to work here-"
Dave interrupted him. "Uh, actually S- Jimmy, that's what I wanted to-"
"Dave, can I finish my speech?"
"I *promise* you, as soon as I finish, you can say *whatever* you want to for as long as you want. Okay, Dave?"
Dave sighed. "All right..."
"Thank-you. Anyway, as I was saying, the people have spoken and they want you to be their News Director. I know that's a big decision and change for you, Dave, but I'm willing to help make up your mind. If you move up here, I am offering to pay for you housing, assist you in moving, raise your salary one hundred and fifty percent, *and* you can still have that pig." Jimmy looked very satisfied with himself.
"Please say yes, Dave," Beth begged.
"Yeah, Dude, it kinda sucks without you here," Joe added.
Max and Matthew both nodded in agreement.
"See, Dave?" Jimmy asked. "You're needed and wanted here."
Dave looked up at Lisa amusedly. "Well, uh, it *is* a very hard decision to make, but..." he pretended to think over the offer. "All right, I'll do it. I take the job here."
The break room erupted in cheers.
"But," Dave said above the noise, motioning for them to quiet down, "I do have a few demands."
"Shoot," Jimmy said.
"For one thing, I want you all to shut the hell up about Lisa and my relationship. We are both really sick of it- it's very distracting and *very* annoying when you guys nose around for dirt."
"Deal," Jimmy said.
"Deal," the rest of them echoed.
"And Beth?" Dave said.
"This is not high school, so crossing your fingers under the table doesn't mean anything."
"Damnit," she whined.
"Also," he continued, "Jimmy, I will not be needing you to pay for my housing because I'm moving in with Lisa. And, uh, I really don't need a pig, either, but thanks for the offer."
Jimmy nodded. Dave turned his attention to Joe. "Joe, I fully expect you to properly fix and return this office's coffee machine. If there isn't a working coffee machine in this office by Monday, I'm going to find some way to make your life very reminiscent of hell. Do you understand?"
"Completely," Joe answered.
"What up, Dave?" Matthew responded.
"You are to keep your clothes on at all times. Okay?"
Matthew looked blankly at Dave. "So if my clothes are itching me...?"
"You keep them on anyway."
"But what if the itch is *so* bad that it distracts me from working?"
"Matthew," Dave started, "considering that you don't work, I don't see this as a problem."
"Hey, Dave?" Max asked.
"Does that go for me, too?"
"That *especially* goes for you, Max," Dave answered.
He turned to the rest of the staff. "It'll take a few days for me to settle everything back in New York, but I should be able to start working here sometime next week."
"Actually, Dave, I'd thought that you would just stay here and start the job tomorrow," Matthew said.
Dave looked at him. "And that, Matthew, is why your job requires a very low level of competence."
"I'll explain it to ya later," Joe offered, clapping a hand on Matthew's shoulder.
"So where are you planning on going back to New York, Dave?" Max asked.
"Sometime tomorrow afternoon. I'll just promote someone in the WNYX staff, train them, pack up all my stuff, and come back here."
Matthew looked confused. "So you're coming back *when*?" he asked.
"In about two days. I'll start working that Monday."
Jimmy nodded. "Good plan... good plan, I like it." He paused briefly before continuing, "You don't have table soccer, do you?"
Dave shook his head. "No, why?"
"Well, I didn't wanna say anything, but my pilot is a recovering foosball-addict and almost crashed my helicopter because of the painful memories Matthew's table brought back and I didn't wanna have the same problem again.
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Later that night...
Lisa breathed a sigh of relief and closed her front door. "I am *so* glad to get those damn cats out of here!" she exclaimed.
Dave chuckled from his spot on Lisa's couch. "*You're* glad? I was stuck in a freezing car with them for three hours," he reminded her.
"Aw, poor baby," she said, joining Dave on the couch. Lisa placed her head on his chest and curled her legs under her.
"Comfortable?" Dave asked, putting his arm around her.
"Mmmm... *very*," she replied. Lisa looked at him as her expression turned serious. "I have no idea what I'm gonna do without you for the next four days," she lamented.
"You can come with me," Dave suggested.
Lisa contemplated this for a moment. "No, I... I couldn't be away from my job for that long."
"Sure you could. Most of the staff seems very capable and should be able to run without you for a few days." Dave grinned at her. "Again, the one thing that makes being the boss so great is that you can take off almost any time you want and no one can question you!"
"Ohhh... all right," Lisa said, giggling a little. "Hey, are you hungry?" she asked suddenly.
Dave smiled at her innocently. "For food?"
Lisa rolled her eyes and swatted him playfully. She was about to add something, when a muffled noise caught her attention. She sat up, suddenly having a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"What" Dave asked, looking concerned.
"Shh! I just heard-" Lisa cut herself off, as the blood drained from her face. "Oh my God..." she whispered.
"*What*?" Dave asked again.
Lisa didn't hear him, as she had already jumped off the couch and went over to the front door so that she could look out the peephole. She noted, almost amusedly, that her legs would probably give out very soon. She guessed Dave had sensed that she needed support- literally- because he was right behind her in an instant. "my God, Lisa, what's going on?" he demanded.
Still staring out of the peephole she whispered, "Johnny's come back."