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This story took me like 4 days to write so yeeah. And don't worry all you Matthew fans! He's in this. Blah, Bla Blah, and all that disclaimer stuff. All nicey-wicey comments can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org so e-mail me all you crazy kids! Enjoy my * special * story.
Once upon a radio station
Scene set in a small room showing Jimmy James sitting on a blue box, talking to some young children.
"Once upon a time," the slightly older than middle aged man said, "there was a radio station called WNYX. An all news all the time, station. It was a was a happy station, a peaceful, cheerful station. It was a… aww, hell! Who am I kidding? I mean sure! Everyone there we're friends and all but most of the time they were planning odd schemes and such. It was the farthest from peaceful as anything! Well, any ways, there was the, well, the cute little news director, Dave. And there was his secretary, Beth. And there was the technician, Joe. And there was Lisa, the not-so-quiet reporter. There was Bill, an on-air talent and of course that other on-air talent, Catherine………….. Now... now wait a minute, who
am I forgetting? Oh! That's right! Then there was Matthew. He was supposed to be a reporter but Matthew didn't quite know what a reporter was supposed to do so he most of the time just wandered around the office or played computer solitaire on his computer. Well I'm going to tell you kids one of the odd little happenings that have happened to my crew down at WNYX. Well it all started when….."
Cut the scene to Dave's office, Dave is talking to Bill about a news bulletin he wanted to say on air.
"Uh, so, um, you're, you're saying that you want to uh, say, on air, that you think people who we're born in New York, are to lazy?" Dave was a dirty-blond haired, blue eyed young man from Wisconsin, who was the news-director to a New York radio station and was slowly losing his sanity as he conversed with his main on-air-talent.
"Yes Dave. Our radio station needs some spice added to It.", Bill replied blandly. "No one's going to listen to our station if it's always the same boring news report every day." Sighing loudly, Dave said, a hint of exhaustion in his voice, "Yes, it will put some spice into our radio station but we would get less
ratings then we do now and would probably have a whole bunch of New Yorkers setting our building on fire." Bill stared blankly for a moment and then, giving Dave an immature dirty look then said "You're a cruel man Dave.", then he stormed out of the room. Dave just sort of laughed to himself and went back to work.
cut scene back to Jimmy.
"Now this mighty radio station was ruled by a strong and powerful multi-billion dollar business-man named Jimmy James, the man so nice they named him twice, that's me. He was an intelligent man, a great man, and….. Aw hell! He was a man who owned many businesses and things that made him money. Well, he came into the office one day and….."
Jimmy walked into Dave's office, as he did every morning, and stood in the doorway. "Hey Dave!" He said cheerfully, raising one arm signaling a greeting. "Hey Mr. James." Dave didn't seem as cheerful as he usually did. Jimmy automatically turned on his kind father-like stance that he did when one of the staff had a problem. "Aw son, what's troubling you?"
Dave replied with a sigh, " Oh nothing, sir. Just a little tired today."
"Aw! You can tell ol' unkie Jimmy! You know what they say, an uncle named Jimmy is always a good listener when the world's crushin' your head!" After he said that, he smiled, looking as if he we're pleased with himself for giving such good advice. Dave looked at him with a small look of confusion and slight fear and said "Well sir, uh… I.. I don't believe I've uh.. ever heard that saying before and I assure you that everything is fine."
"Oh, okay." he turned to walk out of the room, "You sure?" and when Dave shook his head, Jimmy walked out of the room, slightly disappointed that he couldn't give out more of his good advice.
cut scene to Jimmy.
"Well I was a bit worried about little Dave but decided to just leave him to himself. He would come crawling back to me in time, begging me to give him my great advice! He would pay for all he's done to me! Mwahahahahaha!! Hahahahaha!" Jimmy looked around to see the small faces, wide eyed, looking at him in utter disbelief. "Well back to the story."
scene cut to the break-room.
Lisa walked into the break-room and sat down to eat her lunch. She was in the middle of a day-dream when she heard something moving around in the ceiling. It sounded to close to be the next floor so she stood up and followed the sound out of the break-room until she was just in front of her desk. Then the sound stopped. Then all of a sudden, a hole was kicked in the ceiling and out jumped Joe. He was covered in dust and cob-webs. He got up from the floor, brushed himself off, and said "Oh! Hey
Lisa." Lisa sighed loudly and asked, "Joe, what may I ask we're you doing up there?"
He looked around to see if anyone was listening then quietly said, "I'm installing a security system that detects aliens from up to two feet away! This could prove very useful to those dudes up at NASA."
"I'm sure it will, Joe but could you please get to work on something important?" she asked impatiently.
"Hey dude. There's nothing more important then the safety of the human race. So watch out." he walked away, occasionally looking over his shoulder to make sure that every thing was still safe. Lisa smiled and walked into Dave's office to hand him a report she had been working on.
"Hi Dave!" she brightened as she talked to him. As she always did.
"Hey Lisa!" he unknowingly brightened as well.
"I have that report you asked for. I suppose I'm the only one finished, as usual." she eyed him suspiciously, "Alright, what's wrong?"
"Well you have to promise not to get mad."
"No really. What is it?"
Well it's nothing really big. It, it's just that, uh,.. Mr. James hired a new reporter…. She'll uh, be coming in today."
scene cut to Jimmy
"I thought it was a good move." Jimmy said to the children, "I thought that everyone would be excited to see a new face around the office. I mean, it wasn't as if I thought that Matthew and Lisa weren't good
reporters, it was just something that I thought would be good for the staff. It didn't go as well as I thought it would have."
back in Dave's office.
"He did WHAT???" Lisa was so mad she thought she would burst.Dave tried to be as calm about it as possible "He thought it would be good to have a new reporter come in." His attempts to calm her down
didn't work that well. Dave was just as upset about it as Lisa was but he tried to take a calm, mature attitude towards it. "Well, when do you plan on telling the rest of the staff about it?" Lisa asked, she had
calmed down a little and was sitting on the couch under the window sill.Dave sat down beside her, put his arm around her small shoulders and said "Actually, I can't tell them. Mr. James wants it to be a surprise. Right now, you and I are the only ones on the planet other then Mr. James who knows we're going to have a strange girl in our office…. Kinda makes you feel special, doesn't it?" he flashed her a quick boyish smile and kissed her. Feeling better, Lisa walked out of Dave's office ready to meet the new girl.Dave followed Lisa a minute or two later and saw Mr. James walk in.
"Hey kids! I got a surprise for you and it's HOT! I mean it's a hell of a surprise!" Lisa and Dave braced themselves for what was coming. In walked a short, dainty, pretty young woman with strawberry blond
hair and big green eyes. She smiled sweetly and said "Hello everyone. I'm very happy to be here. My name is Cynthia and I look forward to becoming a part of the WNYX family." She talked in a small, sweet voice and smiled even bigger. Jimmy said "Isn't she the sweetest thing? Cynthia is going to be a new reporter hear at WNYX! Isn't that great kids?" he looked around hopefully but the only people who seemed impressed we're Joe and Bill.
" Well, I'll leave all you kids to get acquainted. Bye!" then Jimmy left.
"So," Matthew asked, " you a cat person?" she just smiled uncertainly then her expression totally changed. " So big guy," she said to Joe, "you work out?" Joe gazed at her dreamily. "Uh.. yah. Mmmhmm."Bill eyed Cynthia and went over to her. Taking her hand he arrogantly tossed a smug look at Joe and said to the girl "Come, fair lady, let a man of class show you around." She smiled, then walked along side Bill as he led her by the arm through the office.
Dave and Lisa looked at each other, knowing what was going to happen.
Back to Jimmy
"Lisa and Dave we're still suspicious about Cynthia, Lisa even more so then Dave! She saw Cynthia work her magic over Joe and Bill. I mean, who said that she wouldn't put Dave under her love spell?"
Back in the office
Matthew was at his desk, Dave was at the coffee pot. Matthew was singing a well known children's song "Do you know the Mushroom man? The Mushroom man? The Mushroom man? Do you know the Mushroom man? He lives on Gruber Lane." Matthew had been singing it over and over for ten minutes. All the while, Dave had been becoming more and more frustrated until suddenly he yelled, "MATTHEW! It's the MUFFIN man!!! And he lives on DRURY Lane!!!!! Get it right!!!"Matthew replied to that, "Well *sorry*, David! Some people aren't as obsessed with little kids songs as *you* are!"Just when Dave was getting ready to strangle Matthew, Lisa walked up to him and said just above a whisper, "Can I speak to you in your office?"
"Of course. One second, just let me pour a cup of coffee. You know, it was the funniest thi…" he stopped talking when he saw Cynthia wink at him. Then walk by smiling slyly. Lisa shot a dirty look at Cynthia then dragged Dave into his office by the coat-sleeve, Dave's eyes still locked on Cynthia.
"What was that?" she asked him, sounding very accusing. "What was uh, wh.. what?" he said, still seemingly half dazed. She kissed him. One of those long, dramatic, movie star kisses. " Alright. I'm awake." he said looking as though he had just woken up. "I don't know what came over me. It was like she had some sort of… spell over me." he laughed an uneasy laugh, kissed Lisa as she walked out the door, and went back to work at his desk.
Back to Jimmy
"Now at the time, Big Mighty Jimmy had no idea that Cynthia was an evil witch who put love spells on people. I mean she looked real nice and cute. And usually Dave was supposed to interview the new employees. But since I was the BIG boss, I thought I'd take matters into my own hands. And NO I did not hire her because she put a love spell on me. There's only one for me. Dave's mom….."
Back at WNYX.
Dave had called a staff meeting and now everyone was sitting at the table. Dave was talking about holiday bonuses and raises and things like that but when he looked around he saw that Joe, Bill and Matthew we're all just staring at Cynthia in a somewhat catatonic state, and Beth and Catherine we're staring at the guys in disbelief. Lisa saw what he saw and when they met eyes she screamed, "EVERYONE, PAY ATTENTION TO DAVE!!!"
Everyone was so shocked they all turned towards Lisa and then Beth said, "Woe, Lisa. Sticking up for Dave, now are we. What, are you sleeping with him again?" everyone laughed except for of course Dave and Lisa, and Cynthia, who just smiled because she had no idea what everyone was laughing at. Dave just shook his head, he was used to this but Lisa, who was becoming more frustrated by the second said, "Beth, as a matter of fact, Yes! Yes I am. And you know what? It's great!" Beth stared at her
opened mouth in astonishment along with the rest of the staff and Dave just looked confused, not knowing what to say. He laughed and said,
"Well this meeting's over."
Back to Jimmy
"I knew she had it in her. Lisa was such a feisty little thing when she was mad or frustrated and she knew how to embarrass Dave. That was for sure. But most of the time, Dave would try to hide his embarrassment by a smart remark or just leaving the room. It never really worked that well."
Dave walked back into his office still smiling partly in amazement of Lisa's reaction. Lisa came storming in after him. She saw the look on his face and she loosened up and smiled sweetly at him. "Sorry if I embarrassed you out there." she said. "Oh it's alright. I don't think they'll bother us for awhile. They'd be afraid that you'd rip their arm off or something." He laughed then. Making Lisa laugh too. Cynthia walked in then "David, could I speak to you for a sec?" Lisa's eyes turned into stones again when she heard Cynthia's chirpy high voice. She glared at her from Dave's desk and realized something glimmered in her eye. Dave's eyes glazed over again. Lisa snapped her fingers and Dave seemed to
wake up. "Oh," he said " just a moment. I'll talk with you when I'm done with Lisa." Cynthia looked disappointed but walked out of the room.
"Hey Dave." Lisa said quickly, "could I talk to her instead?" He looked at her suspiciously but said, "Sure. I'm not really in a rush to talk to her. Her voice bugs me." Lisa smiled and rushed out of the room. Cynthia was standing near the coffee-machine when Lisa walked up to her. " Um, Cynthia? yes um, Dave is terribly busy at the moment so he told me to talk to you instead. Alright?"
" Uh, I guess so. Are you sure I can't talk to Davey?" It was all Lisa could do to not throttle her. Davey? How dare she talk about her boyfriend like that? Lisa replied through clenched teeth, "No. You can't talk to Davey right now. He's terribly busy. So what was it you wanted to talk to Dave about?" She asked Lisa as they walked into the break-room . As soon as they we're in the break-room Lisa slammed the door and faced Cynthia, the polite look washed away like cheap make-up. " Listen you. I know exactly what you're up to. But Dave is mine! You may be able to hypnotize Joe and Bill but Dave will not crumble! Dave will stand strong!" Just then,Dave walked into the room walking like a zombie and said "I'm here to serve you oh great love master, Cynthia." Lisa saw Dave and screamed
Back to Jimmy
"Lisa saw her precious little pumpkin, Dave slip away into the strong, evil grips of the evil witch, Cynthia. She had to find some way to help the guys at WNYX. She had to save them. But she couldn't do it alone."
" Come on Beth!" Lisa pleaded, " don't you wanna be a hero and save all the guys in the office and be… uh,…a hero?"
" Hmmmm… let me think…. either sit at home peacefully chewing my new chicken-noodle-soup flavored gum that I got in the freak-shop or go with you on a dangerous mission to stop a witch from turning the guys into her quiet, love zombies?" Beth looked at her like a track-agent would look at a guy giving him a phony ten dollar bill. Lisa nodded. "Yes."
"Oh. Well if you put it that way, why not? But only if Catherine helps too."
In the office, Cynthia was sitting in Dave's chair, feet on the table, drinking a cup of coffee. Dave, Bill and Joe we're all standing around her.
" Oh, dudely, love master, Cynthia the greatest, do you want more coffee?" Joe said.
"No! 'Tis I who must fetch the master's beverage!" Bill said to Joe.
"Hey dude! You fetched it last time!"
"But I am the favorite." Bill said
"Hey man, don't push it."
"Silence!" Cynthia said loudly. Cynthia didn't realize it but that woke Dave up. He looked around and realized what was happening. " You may all fetch my coffee!" she said in a queenly voice. Dave thought it might be wiser to play along, he didn't know what she might do. So he followed Bill and Joe as they went to get Cynthia's coffee.
He saw Lisa, Beth and Catherine walk out of the elevator. Lisa looked very worried. He was overjoyed to see her so he told Joe, "Tell the master that I must use the little boy's room." Joe nodded and he and Bill
walked back into Dave's office and shut the door. Dave ran over to Lisa and kissed her. She was surprised but happy to see he wasn't under the spell anymore. She said "Dave, I thought you we're under her spell too. What happened?"
"Well I snapped out of it when she yelled but Joe and Bill we're still entranced. We have to save them. But I have to go back because I think she'll realize that I'm gone if I don't go back soon." Lisa looked at
him and said, "be careful."
He went back into his office and closed the door. Cynthia said, "Davey, where have you been?"
"Uh, um… uh oh master.. person……. thing, uh, I was uh, in the, uh…uh, bathroom. Yah! That's it, the bathroom! " he could feel himself starting to shake. He was getting very nervous. She smiled then looked him in the eye. He quickly turned away, knowing what she was doing. "Ah. It seems my powers aren't as strong on you now are they? You must already have a love in your life. Well, I can fix that." She did a few hand motions and there was a spark of light from her fingers and they we're in a dark cave. (It was actually Dave's office with a few rocks in it and a pit was behind Dave's desk and out side of the window there was a huge volcano instead of the busy New York streets.) She said, "Magic, Black
Magic, from up above. Bring me the one that Dave Nelson loves." She snapped her fingers and Lisa appeared. "Ah.. you love the one named Lisa Miller. Adorable." She pointed at Lisa and all of a sudden, Lisa was chained to the wall. Lisa, had a happy look on her face and said, "Dave. You love me? That's the sweetest thing ever. I love you too.Dave smiled and blew a kiss to Lisa. Cynthia, who was tired of seeing all this mushy gushy stuff going on between Lisa and Dave snapped her fingers again and Dave was tied up with chains in a chair. She snapped her fingers again and everyone was including Beth and Catherine at the top of an active volcano. " Joe! Bill!" she commanded, " Throw Lisa into the volcano! I've had enough of her! Davey is mine!"
"Oh. So now Dave is the favorite." Bill said but grabbed Lisa's arm anyway.
" That is such a colossal Rip-Off!!" Joe grabbed her arm as well. Dave screeched, "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Just when Lisa was about to be thrown into the volcano, Matthew flew by and grabbed her. He was dressed in a red body-suit and a yellow cape and was now flying in the air with Lisa in his arms. He put Lisa down gently and then picked up the evil Cynthia and dropped her into the volcano. "NOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed and then vanished into the boiling lava. Bill and Joe snapped out of their hypnosis and then the surroundings changed back into the WNYX office.
"Well where the hell have you been all day?" Dave asked, not really mad at all.
"Well Dave, the person who is writing this story forgot all about me so she decided to quickly write me a part and a dumb excuse for not being here, and that excuse was, Mitt-Mitt and Choo-Choo got sick and I needed to get them to a vet before I got to work, but, I forgot to call the office, so when they we're done at the vet, I drove to work and all of a sudden I was flying through the air in this silly old suit. Then I
saw Bill and Joe holding Lisa over an active volcano and thought that maybe Bill was in trouble so I flew down and I just got this sudden urge to grab Lisa. Sorry David. Its just Lisa looked so cute hanging over a vol…"
" Thank-you Matthew. But any ways, you did save Lisa so I guess I do have to give you credit for that. Dave sighed loudly, "Alright Matthew, I won't fire you for coming to work late. And I'm not mad that you said that about Lisa."
The whole staff cheered and everyone was happy again. And amidst all the celebrating, Joe said to Bill, "So dude, who do you really think was her favorite?"