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Disclaimer: Before the script to this week's show was written, the writers got sick from some cinnamon buns that Andy Dick cooked. So, since taping time was ready, we decided to just chronicle what happened at the television producer's convention. Enjoy!
FADE IN: TV PRODUCER'S CONVENTION
(Dave, Maura, Andy, Jon, and Stephen are seated at a table.)
Convention Announcer: Now, you may have seen these people on TV's
Newsradio. Please Welcome...THE CAST OF NEWSRADIO!
(The cast gets up and goes to seperate podiums)
Dave: Let's just start with a Q&A. You sir.
Audience Member #1: Are you dating Maura Tierny?
Dave: No. You.
Audience Member #2: Stephen, do you ACTUALLY play the boss, or is that a robot?
Stephen: No, that's not a robot. You.
Audience Member #3: Dave, Why isn't Newsradio like Kids in the Hall?
(Just then, Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet bursts in and starts playing "Having an Average Weekend" and the credits roll like Kids in the Hall. Dave is Dave. Stephen is Kevin. Maura is Bruce. Jon is Mark. And Andy is Scott. Then a Headcrusher sketch starts)
(Jon, as Mark, is seated at a bench. It's filmed on regular sitcom film and Jon sticks his hand up over some basketball players)
Jon: (Very Bad Accent) I'm Crushing Your Head. You Pan Head.
Audience Member #3: (V.O) WAIT! It's supposed to be filmed on video!
(The film switches to video)
Jon: I'm crushing your head! You Pan Head!
Audience Member #3: That's FLAT Head.
Jon: (Sigh) You Flat Head.
(The players come up to him)
Player #1: Who the (bleep) are you?
Jon: The same guy who crushes your heads. The Cranium Crusher!
Player #2: HEAD CRUSHER! Thank you Audience Member #3.
Jon: Fine...HEAD Crusher. I'm crushing your head! (Regular voice) This is humiliating! I'm Gone!
(Jon leaves and the REAL Mark comes in)
Mark: What the (Bleep) was that?
30 MATTHEWS AGREE
(30 Andy look-a-likes are standing)
Narrator: 30 Matthews Agree
Matthews: That Andy Dick is Creepy!
(Bobby is eating dinner with his parents)
Bobby: THIS MAKES ME SICK!
Mom: And what would that be...?
Bobby: I'm LEAVING!
(We see footage of Bobby running while Maura as Bruce, sings a weird song.)
Maura: Don't know why I'm running/ I just feel like it/ (Song stops)
THIS SUCKS! Dave how could you do this?