"Because of You"
Setting: New Hampshire/New York, after Season 5
Disclaimer: This is for all of you hopeless romantics. Believe it or now, I wrote this story in less than an hour, so bear with me. It's raining
here and it depresses the crap out of me. Send any comments to me. Enjoy!
It had been 5 days since the staff of WNYX had settled themselves in New Hampshire and Lisa was already stressed out of her mind. Running a weekly newspaper was hard enough without having to deal with the news station too. As she opened the door to her room at Mr. James' cabin she realized she hadn't had the time to unpack. She was so tired she couldn't even sleep so she decided to organize her room a little bit. She knew she wouldn't be living with Mr. James forever, but she just couldn't stand the mess. She began to open her luggage and putting all of her clothes on the bed, as she grabbed her briefcase to look for her wallet, something fell out of the front pocket. It was a white envelope with the word "Lisa" on one side. "What the hell?" she thought as she sat down on her bed to see what it was. It was a letter addressed to her and she immediately recognized Dave's handwriting. "Great," she thought, "probably some instructions on how to be a good news director." Her face turned from annoyance to wonderment when she began to read the first letters:
My Dearest Lisa:
It is with great difficulty that I am here on my desk trying to come up with the right words to let you know how I feel so I decided to write them on this piece of paper. 5 years ago I walked into this office with an intense feeling of terror inside of me as I did not know what was waiting for me at my new job. I can still remember every minute of it as if it were yesterday. Today I am forced to stand here and watch you all go and that feeling of terror has resurfaced once again. Then I met you, and everything in my life took a big U turn. We had one wonderful night together and before I knew it, I was madly in love with you, from one night. And it didn't matter how much we fought or how often we disagreed because I always knew that we would make up and say our respective "I Love You's." For the first time in my life I had someone who knew me, who understood me, and who cared about me besides all of my faults. I found myself thinking about you 24 hours a day, wanting to be with you, to kiss you all over and to hold you, or even just hold you hand. I loved you because I saw the real you, the Lisa nobody else knew, the Lisa who was a little scared and insecure, and sensitive, and caring. Thank you for allowing me to see that side of you.
And then, like almost everything I had have in my life, I lost you. I made the biggest mistake when I let you go and up until today, I still curse myself when I wake up every morning and you're not in the left side of my bed, when I find pictures of us together, when I find your things around my apartment, your toothbrush, your clothes, your scent. And if that wasn't hard enough, I had to see you get married to another man, Johnny Johnson, whose name I cannot even pronounce without feeling nauseous. The person I hate the most in the world barged into my life and took away my most precious value, you. And now you are leaving New York, without a warning, without so much as a thought. And I have to stand here and watch you go, all over again. I don't want you to feel bad or feel like it is your fault. I have always blamed myself for destroying our relationship. I cannot think of anything else to tell you, except: I Love You. With all my heart. I love you so much that sometimes I find
it hard to breathe. So much that my whole body aches. So much that I cannot
describe it. And my only regret it that I cannot give you more, I can't love you more because it's impossible. And I don't think I'll ever be able to love again like I have loved and continue to love you. And life makes no sense now that we are not together, and it never will. I just thought I'd let you know because I don't know if I'll ever have the chance to tell you again. I wish you all the happiness in the world, even if it's not by my side.
Lisa read this last words as tears began to fall down her
face. Painfully, she read it again, and again and again until the words
didn't made sense anymore, and with her mind drawing on a blank, she fell asleep.
The next morning Lisa woke up to find her room made a mess, and a letter in her hands. She got up, got dressed and walked over to the kitchen where Beth sat on the table reading a Vogue magazine. She rolled her eyes and sat down.
"Beth, can't you at least read something a little more constructive, like the newspaper?"
"For your information, this is very educational."
"Yes, I'm learning 16 ways to help him find your G-Spot without the use of words."
"(sarcastically) Oh, well let me know how that one turns out."
"What's wrong with you?"
"Is this about your red dress?"
"What about my red dress?"
"Oh, nothing, forget it, never mind. Are you ok?"
"Yes means no."
"Well, then no."
"You're not? Why? What happened?"
"Beth, I don't wanna talk about it."
"Ok, fine, I guess I'm gonna have to do some lurking around."
Lisa handed Beth the letter and she read it carefully.
"Well, I'm glad he finally told you."
"You knew about this?"
"Well, everybody sort of knew."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Well, that's something he had to do himself."
Lisa took the letter in her hands and studied it carefully.
"What are you gonna do?"
"I don't know. This is so sudden! I mean, I had no idea, he was the one who broke up with me! That's why…"
"(softly) Why I married Johnny."
"I don't know, Beth, this is too much."
"Well, the way I see it you have 2 options: Dave or Johnny."
"Is there a third?"
"Well, you could die alone."
"Somehow that doesn't sound so bad now."
"Why don't you take a couple of days off, just think about it some
Lisa let out a sigh and got up. Before getting out of the kitchen she
"Don't you dare tell anyone about this!"
Beth gave her a smile.
"Ah, who am I kidding?"
Dave sat on his New York apartment, watching TV and drinking a cup of coffee. "Ah, coffee..." he thought "My only friend." Outside, freezing rain was really pouring down and the weatherman promised more was on the way. Many of the words were closed and the traffic was impossible. Turning off the TV he moved to the window, he loved to see the rain falling down, it was so soothing. The last couple of days had been so intense. One interview after another. Trying to find a new staff was harder than he thought. On top of that, Matthew had been so sensitive lately, he missed the old staff, and Dave didn't blame him. But sometimes Matthew can be so annoying, oh what the hell, he was annoying all the time. Suddenly he heard a constant knock on the door. Rolling his eyes he got up to answer " Matthew, if you're here to have me mash your vitamins and mix them on your apple sauce you can just turned around and go home" But he didn't hear and answer, so he opened the door.
"Oh my God."
There stood Lisa soaked to her core, shaking from the coldness, her lips purple. She looked as if she had seen a ghost, her skin almost white.
"Lisa, what are you doing here?"
She didn't answer so he took her inside, put a towel around her shoulders, took her shoes off and brought her a couple of pairs of socks. He sat down next to her.
"Lisa, you're scaring the hell out of me, what are you doing in New
York, walking outside on the freezing rain?"
"I just.. I just wanted to go for a ride."
"You live in New Hampshire, how did you end up here?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know? Where's your car?"
"The roads are closed, so I walked."
"Do you realize that you could've died out there?
Lisa put her hands on her pockets and took out Dave's letter, which was
also wet. She showed it to him.
"Is it true?"
"Um, yes, I meant every word."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She could feel the tears coming out of her. She knew if she started crying, she wouldn't be able to control herself.
"I don't know why, I guess I just didn't have the guts."
Lisa didn't know what to do. She was feeling so many things at the same time.
"You broke up with me."
"I know. I'm sorry Lisa, I don't know what else to say."
"I don't know, I was afraid that you didn't love me anymore."
"You what? Who the hell gave you the right to decide how I feel like?!"
"Lisa, I don't kno-"
"You're damn right you don't know! You think you can just barge into my life and break my heart without an explanation. Do you think you're
the only one who has feelings? I-"
Fearing that she was going to say something she would regret, she stormed out of the apartment. Dave followed.
"Lisa where are you going?"
"Leave me alone."
"Lisa, it's freezing out there."
But she was already outside, where it was still raining. She started to
run towards, where? She didn't knew where she left her car. Before she
could do something, Dave caught up to her. She was so mad she couldn't
even talk. But somehow she found the strength.
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"Why do you keep breaking my heart like this?"
"You're the one who got married to Johnny!"
"Because I love you!"
She realized what she said as soon as she said it, but it was too late to back out now. They both stood there, rain pouring down on their bodies. Dave couldn't believe what he just heard. The silence was almost unbearable. Lisa was the one who broke it.
"Look, I think I better go."
She turned around to leave but Dave grabbed her by the arm, turned her around and kissed her passionately, more out of madness than love. Lisa didn't expect that from him, Dave was never impulsive like that. She tried to pull away at first but it was impossible, Dave had her by the waist and he wasn't going to let her go, not this time. They kissed for the longest time, not feeling the rain, or the coldness of it. Rain kept coming down, purifying their love. They didn't care about the time, or anything that was going on around them. There was time for that later. For now, they only had time for each other, and that's all they needed to go on.
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