"I think it's getting to the point where I can be myself again.
It's getting to the point where we have almost made amends.
I think its' the getting to the point that's the hardest part
-------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't call her, don't call her, don't call her," Dave repeated in his head holding the phone in his hand. The doctor's message sat in front of him nearly taunting him. It had started out so simply, just some fatigue, headaches, nothing major. But it had grown to the point where he was popping pills all day to combat the constant pain and he couldn't shave since when he cut himself, he bled for hours. Without the old staff no one noticed the change in Dave, and he was to stubborn to go on his own to the doctor's. A change in insurance forced him to a check-up, and that forced him to a specialist.
"Bring someone with you to the appointment," the doctor warned, "you're going to need some support." The first person he thought of had was living in a different state and hadn't talk to him in nearly a year. Dave didn't talk to anyone, not even his mother. Dave's mom had moved to New Hampshire with Mr.James, leaving Dave's father alone. Mr. Nelson had passed away a few weeks later. When Christmas came, Dave offered to cover at the station, but ended up calling in sick. He spent Christmas day curled in bed, in so much pain he couldn't even walk, wishing to be in New Hampshire with his former friends. Even the vodka couldn't get him to dial the phone. Instead he cried, and realized he'd go through the hardest ordeal of his life alone.
--------------------------------------------------
  If you call I will answer
  and if you fall I will pick you up
  and if you court this disaster I"ll point you home
  I'll point you home
-------------------------------------------------
"Mary Anne, why are you crying?" Lisa said as she came across Dave's sobbing mother in the lobby of WNHX.
"Get my husband please," Mary Anne answered solemnly before collapsing into a chair.
Lisa nodded, but was too late since Mr.James had already heard about his wife and rushed to her side. "What happened Sweetpea?" he asked.
"Dave's boss just called me, he was diagonoised with stage 3 leukimia a month ago," she explained, "they're looking for a bone marrow donor who matches him, and I need to go down there and get tested. God damn it Jimmy, I can't believe he didn't tell me!"
"You know Dave, he doesn't want to burden anyone," he tried to comfort his sobbing spouse, "When do you want to leave?"
"We're all going, I chartered a flight and we're all going to be tested," She ordered, "Could you go tell everyone?"
"Of course," he said kissing her goodbye.
Lisa stood still in shock from the news. "Are you okay Lisa?" Mary Anne asked unsure.
Lisa moved to the seat beside Mary Anne, "No...no I'm not."
---------------------------------------------
You think,
I only think about you when we're both in the same room
I 'm only here to witness the remains of loving you
You think,
we're here to play a game of who loves more than who
----------------------------------------------
"David?" the nurse tapped timidly on the hospital room door, "You have some visitors."
"Is it Matthew again Anne?" Dave sighed.
"No, thank god," she said with a giggle, "Mr. Brock is only allowed to visit with supervision, you know that. It's a group from New Hampshire."
"Send them away please," he nearly cried out shifting onto his sore side.
"Are you sure Dave?" she asked, "I have note here from um, Mr James I believe. It says 'stop being a jackass and let us in."
"Send them away," he answered sadly.
Anne went to leave but stopped short, "Do you need anything David?"
"Something to put me to sleep," he mumbled.
"It's 10 o'clock in the morning," she said unsure, "Are you okay?"
"Please," he nearly sobbed, "I really don't want to be awake right now."
"Okay," she finally gave in, handing him two blue pills.
He mummered a thank you and fell fast asleep from the pills. "Poor man," Anne said forlornly, walking towards the WNHX staff in the waiting room.
Lisa snuck in behind her, entering Dave's small room. "Oh my god!" Lisa gasped in shock. Dave's frame lay curled tightly in the bed, the strong treatment showing it's impact in his dramatic weight loss and his hairless head. She walked towards him, tears clouding her vision and sat bedside. His hand in her's frightened Lisa, it's child-like size, his pale skin almost translucent. She bent her head in prayer, "I love you."  
--------------------------------------------------
  If you call I will answer
  and if you fall I will pick you up
  and if you court this disaster I"ll point you home
  I'll point you home
-------------------------------------------------
"I'm not a match," Mary Anne screamed, "I thought I was the only hope! I want my son to live god damn it!"
The doctor tried to calm her, "Ma'am I just said you weren't a match, I didn't say there wasn't a match from among the group."
"Who?" She asked, the hope evident in her voice.
"Well, as you know, David has a very rare blood type, and the chance of finding a match was very slim," the doctor began.
"Who is it?" Mary Anne asked again very impatient.
"Ms. Miller-Johnson," the doctor answered, "and in all honesty, unless he gets the bone marrow transplant, he won't make it to next christmas."
"So when can you do the procedure?" she questioned, her face breaking out in a smile.
"I just need David, and Ms. Miller-Johnson to sign waivers and we can have it done tomorrow," he explained, "But you also have to remeber that this isn't a definite cure, sometimes this procedure doesn't work, sometimes it must be done more than once.
"Let's just get it done," she said determinedly, nearly sprinting out of the room.
"Wait, Mrs. James!" The doctor called out to her.
She stopped short, "What else is there?"
The doctor sighed loudly, "I don't understand all of the difficulties in your relationship with your son, but he has to agree to go through with the transplant. Please don't get too excited."
"Like anyone would say no to something that could save their life," she nearly laughed, sprinting towards the waiting room.
"It's happened before," the doctor mumbled softly to himself.
----------------------------------------------
  You think,
  It's only fair to do what's best for you and you alone
  You think,
  It's only fair to do the same thing for me when your not home
  I think,
  It's time to make this something that's more than only fair.
--------------------------------------------------
"No, I don't want it from one of them!" Dave screamed as his physician tried in vain to change his mind.
"Dave, you will die without it," his Doctor begged him to reconsider.
"What about the anonymous donor lists? Isn't there anything else?" Dave questioned.
"We've been through this before," his doctor explained, "you have a rare blood type, there is almost no chance of finding a match."
"I don't want it from one of them!" Dave yelled again, "I'd rather die."
Lisa who had been listening from the hall, walked into the room, "Is that true, you'd rather die?"
"Okay let me rephrase my comment, I'd like physical death to accompany the death of all of my meaningful relationships, death of my happiness, death of love in my life," Dave rambled loudly and angrily at the unannounced visitor.
Lisa stood in shock over his accusations, "You caused the death of your so-called 'meaningful relationships'."
"Oh, really, Was I the one who decided to move to New Hampshire? Was I the one who decided to abandon my father? Was I the one who decided to throw my life away and marry an convict?" he growled his questions at her, "You can blame me for everything Lisa, you can even blame me for getting cancer, cause I know if I had moved to New Hampshire I wouldn't of gotten sick."
"That's not fair Dave, you always had a place in my life," Lisa started to softly cry.
"The place as the good 'ole ex-boyfriend, the place of the forgotten love, the person who had to stand by and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life," he answered cruely, "I don't want anything from you."
"So you'd rather die?" Lisa asked again.
"I think being six foot under would be an improvement to the life I lead now," he said sadly, his face finally showing the true pain and fatigue he felt. Tears fell quickly down his cheeks, "I'm so afraid Lisa."
She moved towards him taking his frail body in her arms, "So am I Dave, so am I."
--------------------------------------------------
  If you call I will answer
  and if you fall I will pick you up
  and if you court this disaster I"ll point you home
  I'll point you home
-------------------------------------------------
     Lisa awoke in a darkened hospital room, by a hand placed on her shoulder. "Hello Mr. James," she said groggily, "What time is it?"
      "Three in the morning," he smiled, "You fell asleep in the chair beside his bed again, so one of the orderlies brought you in here to sleep."
      "I should go back to Dave's room," she went to sit up, but Mr. James stopped her.
      "You're tired, rest," he ordered kindly, "If Dave's sleeping, so should his guardian angel."
      Her cheeks turned pink from his comment. But it was true. Ever since the transplant day in, day out, Lisa sat bedside. They would make small talk about little things they'd missed in each other's life, the radio station in New Hampshire, Mr. James's wedding. Never anything personal, they avoided emotions.
      "I just spoke to Dave's doctor," Mr James explained, "the test results look great, your blood cells are getting along great with Dave's."
      "That's great," Lisa said, trying to hide her bursting excitment.
      Mr. James looked at her oddly, "Just great?"
      Lisa's face broke out in a grin, "That is the best news I've ever heard."
      "Have you told him yet?" Jimmy asked unsure.
      "Nope, I don't even want to bring up the whole mess," she answered, "it was a messy divorce and Dave doesn't need to hear about it while he's recovering."
      "But you're going to?" he asked.
      Lisa thought for a minute, "I'm not sure I could bear the pain of him rejecting me, my heart's a little too weak for that."
      Jimmy laughed fatherly, putting his arm around Lisa, "You know you don't have to worry about him rejecting you."
      "But I still worry," she explained, "I just love him so much."
      "Tell him that then," he prodded her, "He just needs to hear that."
      "What if he's met someone else? What if he's moved on? What if he doesn't want me?" she ran down a list of her worries.
      "I'm not very good at being good with words and stuff, but Dave loves you," Mr. James smiled, "he looks at you like if you were the last thing he ever laid eyes upon he'd be fine with it."
      "I thought for awhile I was going to be," Lisa mumbled softly, "I don't want to lose him."
      "You won't darlin', you'll have his heart forever," he said as he stood up, "Now, get some more sleep, everything we'll still be here tomorrow."
-------------------------------------------------
  I warning you, don't ever do
  those crazy messed up things you do.
  If you ever do, I promise you
  I'll be the first to crucify you
  it's time to prove that you came back here to rebuild?
  Rebuild..
-----------------------------------------------
      "How are you today Lisa?" Anne asked as Dave's constant visitor appeared in the corridor, "How was the shuttle in?"
      "Boring and horrible as usual, I hate leaving the city even if it was only for a few days," Lisa explained while still walking quickly down the hallway past the front desk.
      "Wait Lisa!" Anne called out to her to stop. But Lisa kept walking right towards the room.
      "Hello Da-," Lisa stopped short as she was greeted with an empty room.
      Anne appeared behind her, "I meant to stop you at the desk, Mr. Nelson was released this morning."
      "He was released and didn't tell me," Lisa said softly to herself, obviously upset, "Why didn't he tell me?"
      "Lisa, don't worry so much, he was released 2 days ago," Anne smiled,
"He left a note for you to meet him in front of the Christmas tree at Rockafeller Center at 6:00."
     "Thanks so much Anne," Lisa hugged the nurse tightly before leaving, "You treated him so well."
      "Just invite me to your wedding that's all I ask," Anne whispered in her ear.
      "You're first on the list," Lisa said, before sprinting down the hallway. The frigid air hit her hard as she exited out of the hospital, but after weathering one New Hampshire winter, she was almost immune to the cold. Since she was only a few blocks away from the square, Lisa lingered in front of the shop windows huddled with the last minute christmas shoppers. The first Christmas she spent with Dave flashed in her memory. Not his parent's empty house, or the rushed plane rides, but the quiet Christmas day they spent together at the station. He sat with her in the booth, as they together kept the news coming. It was sweet and romantic in a werid work obsessed way, but it made sense to Lisa, and it's memory warmed her heart.
      Her steps quickened as the tree's brightly colored lights came into view. Each  glistened and gleamed, like a beacon to her, guiding her way to Dave. Lisa caught sight of his small thin frame shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. "Dave!" She called out to him, and he turned towards her voice, his smile glowing brighter then any bulb on the tree.
      "Hi Lisa," he said softly as they finally met in the center of the holiday bustle, "thanks for coming."
      "Why wouldn't I come?" she asked him.
      "I thought maybe they were having a Christmas party back in New Hampshire, or your family was having a party," Dave answered.
      Lisa looked at him slyly, "You didn't mention Johnny?"
      ""Beth told me about the divorce last month," Dave smiled boyishly, "But why aren't you with your family?"
      "I'd rather be here," she admitted, "you mean more to me."
      Things were silent as both took in her admission, but Dave suddenly took a brave face. "Lisa, I faced dying alone this year," he started slowly, "and it was the most frightening experience I ever had to go through. But when you came, and gave part of your own body to make sure I'd live, it was the first time I felt at ease. I knew that if I didn't survive, I would've died with you holding my hand."
      "Oh Dave," Lisa whispered softly.
      Dave moved closer to her, taking her hand in his, "Lisa, I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to go to work alone, I don't want to wake up alone, I don't want to spend another christmas alone, and I don't want to grow old alone."
      "What are you trying to say?" she asked hopefully.
      He slowly lowered himself down on one knee and held up a small ring. The rushing crowd stopped and looked towards the couple. Dave cleared his voice and spoke loudly so the surrounding people could hear, "Lisa, will you marry me?"
      The crowd errupted in cheers of 'Marry him!' 'Do it!' 'Say Yes!'. Lisa smiled brightly, "Of course I will Dave." She hugged him and quickly sealed his proposal with a kiss.
      "Wait, What did she say!" a person in the back screamed.
      "She said 'Yes'" a stranger screamed back.
      His wife beside him added a footnote to the statement, "And they obviously belong together!"
      Lisa slowly pulled away and unaware of the surrounding people, "I forgot to get you a gift."
      "You've promised me a lifetime of happiness, what else do I need?" he laughed.
      Lisa thought for a minute and whispered into his ear. Dave's already grinning face, smiled even brighter, "I don't really need that but it should be fun. Let's go."
Together they pushed through the crowd and headed towards Dave's apartment

The End


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