Author's Note: I do not own the rights to these characters, nor do I the show.
Return to the West
In the office, Matthew is playing solitaire, Joe is fixing a wagon axel, Lisa is retyping a report, Beth is chewing gum, and Dave is in his office reading an article in the paper.
Dave: Oh my god. Uh, Beth, where are all the newspapers that were delivered to our News Station?
Beth: Uh, they're all in front of the entrance lobby. Nobody picked on up yet except you.
Dave: Oh, good. I gotta go. Joe? Can you set up a blazing fire?
10 minutes later...
Lisa: Dave, those are today's papers! We haven't read them yet!
Dave: I know.
He throws all of them in the fire.
Joe: Good job dude. Down with literacy, up with revolution!
Later that day.
Everyone but Dave is in the breakroom eating lunch.
Matthew: So what was that big fire for?
Lisa: I don't know.
Beth: Well, i guess something in the paper upset him.
Suddenly, Bill and Catherine come in on a wagon.
Joe: Bill! Haven't seen you in months!
Beth: You too Catherine!
Bill: We brought great news from California!
Catherine: You see, it seems that-
Dave has a pistol in each hand and starts shooting.
Lisa: Dave, stop! We can't hear what Bill and Catherine are trying to say!
Dave: I know.
Dave: Bill, Catherine, leave immediatly. I need you to go to illinoise, then to Oregon, then to New York, and then New Jersey, and last to California. Here.
He hands them envelopes of news with state's names labeled on them.
Dave: Here's $50. More than enough to pay for food and supplies.
Bill: But that'll take at least 2 years!
Dave: Then you'd better start now. No time to load up here. Get packed up at the general store! Go go!
Catherine: But this is really important. Just let me tell the guys about-
Dave: No! Go now!
Bill: Well, sir, I quit! I can make more money in California!
Catherine: Ditto! We're gonna come back rich when we hit it good!
Beth: What are you talking about?
Dave: Don't listen!
Bill: Gold has been found in California! only suckers stay at their old jobs! Come with us and get rich! Your pockets will be filled with huge gold nuggets the size of baseballs!
Catherine: Didn't you read about it in the paper?
Dave: Look, they're lying! Bill, Catherine, good bye. I am sorry your leaving and yatayatayata...now go! Leave now!
They leave. Dave turns around and everyone's staring at him with hatred.
Beth: So, you wanted the gold for yourself! That's why you didn't want us to know!
Dave: No! The paper said that lots of people have been quitting their jobs just to go there!
Joe: Well, so do we! See ya dude.
They all leave one by one. Lisa gives him a big good-bye kiss and leaves.
Dave: oh boy.
Jimmy: Hey, Dave, tell me what's happenin?